Sunshine/Clouds...

One minute I feel the sunshine - the next I feel the cloud hanging over! I'm still trying to praise God no matter what. It's really hard at times. Today has been a month now that I have been divorced. =( Everyone says date God... well that's great but what about the loneliness & feeling of being left out & unloved?! What happened? Where did I go wrong? Did my family ever truly love me? Why me God? What does God want me to do now?

Sometimes I think my friends don't truly understand how I feel! It was 15 years of my life... what do you do when you've lost 'who you are' & most of your life?! So now my identity is... working 2-jobs & the only real thing I do is - go to church or walk over to my parent's house. Now that's living the big life!

I think I have cried every night this past week. Why?... I don't know! I'm truly happy God brought me out of the battle SAFELY!... I'm thankful to Him for my house!... being with my mom & dad! But I feel confused, out of place & just lost for what to do next - I know confusion is not of God! Well put my shoes on & tell me how you would feel?! I am just asking God for direction... please pray for God to guide me.