Yesterday was a hard day for me. I would say that about once a week I break down & cry & then I go on & have a great day or week. It's not that I'm walking around all gloomy b/c I'm not. It's that it hits me all at once & things are just overwhelming. Hey - look at everything I have been through in the last year (before you judge me, try walking in my shoes for a couple of days!). Most people would have quit going to church or given up & gone off the deep end.
I was feeling really down yesterday & had a small crying spell before church. I figured I would be ok & would get encouraged at church - what else is church for?! I get there about 20-30 minutes late but go on in & sit down. Right off the bat, a sister makes a comment to me & knocks me down. Well, I couldn't stop the tears... they just flowed all through the rest of Sunday School. You just have to understand that we are just human & we are not perfect, just forgiven.
I was still overwhelmed when we started singing. Sometimes when people are in this situation, you have to let them cry it out & just be there for them & pray for them. But quickly, I was knocked down again. This time - it hit me hard & made me upset. So this is why I ask, what is church for? I was taught that church is for encouragement & for us to lift each other up. I think that at times - church can be the worst place to receive encouragement b/c as Christians, we tear each other down instead of lifting each other up. So sometimes you just have to smile, pretend like everything is okay, hold back the tears and just walk away. Therefore, no matter what you just have to realize that God is there for you & will help you through no matter what... and no matter what man does to you.
