The Aftermath...

Steve & I realize alot of stuff was said to all the wrong people & out of anger. Now alot of apologies are flying all over the place AND people are still stirring up trouble for us. Someone who WAS my SO called friend has gone & started alot of gossip so now it's just causing more anger & talk. Mainly it's involving people that don't need to be involved. I'm sorry if you were involved in any of our situation & drug into it this weekend.

Who to Trust...

After the HUGE blow up this weekend, there are still lots of rumors flying all around. Steve has lots of issues in life & went to someone else to talk about 'life' instead of me. When you try to have a female friend on the side, one thing leads to another. He has problems with staying put in life too. He is constantly looking for the greener pasture. We basically break up on Friday night and make-up on Saturday. I'm still a wreck from it all!!!

He was supposed to move in with my parents on Saturday BUT... while we were cleaning out the room (which was still a wreck from my grandfather living there, the crazy lady & us moving stuff in there to make room for my mom's hospital bed)... my dad (who was not feeling well & very sick) gets up from his nap & blows up (mostly at me). Well, Steve did not like all the yelling, cursing, etc. (not like he can't throw his own fits) so he decided that under a bridge would be better (playing on my emotions). For now, he's staying put & trying very hard to work things out.

I know God is in control of my life but golly - what's up with all this?!

Feeling Hurt...

It was SO hard to wake up this AM & have to face anyone after last night. I told Steve that last night I felt like Lorrie Morgan trying to save Keith Whitley from himself (if you haven't read her book - you should, it might help you in life!). I cannot control any one's actions or stupidity BUT I will help them as much as I can to stay on track & be there for them.

Also, I was still hurt about my friend not supporting me & thinking Steve's actions were fine with this woman (who used to be her friend). Plus trying to deal with helping Steve move next door (big blow up - read next blog). I was really feeling used & abused!

My jobs at the plant & the music company have become more & more demanding because of situations in their personal lives. They both want me as much as they can have me but there is only one of me (LOL - maybe I should clone myself). I really need to work these 2 jobs the most because they are where I make the most $'s.

Steve & I go to Go Figure to pick up my mom from work. Kathy pops off with a rude comment about me leaving a note with the hours I can work on her desk. Well for weeks I've been trying to talk to her BUT she absolutely will not talk to me very much & is rude to me. She totally misunderstood our conversation about me working only certain days last week. In the end, it basically came out (in front of my mom & Steve - with my mom doing 1/2 of the talking) that I will be working my other 2-jobs for now & won't be at Go Figure for a while. She was mad because she is leaving for 5 weeks & needs people to cover the office. I'm sorry - why do you wait until the VERY last minute to make sure your i's are dotted & your t's are crossed?! Honestly, it was like a HUGE weight was lifted off of me. Thank you ALL for praying about my job situation.

Honesty & Cheating...

I knew something dishonest was going on for at least a week & sure enough... Steve was spending time with someone who HAD been my so called friend. This so called friend said she was doing what God told her to do - be a friend (yeah right! that was straight from the pits of hell). I told her that she was cheating with another woman's man.

Steve wasn't being honest about where he was going & what he was doing. I've tried to explain to him that he may have NEVER done anything with this woman, but when you are dishonest about where you are going, it all comes back to bite you in the end.

Today, I tried to talk to someone who I thought was my friend & close to me. I find out that not only is she NOT truly my friend but she has messed up morals & values. I know that many have agreed with me on the above issue. And that when you are committed to someone, hanging out with someone else is not right (at least in God's eyes or any other person with morals). However, when someone is saying that it is fine... they are just friends & I'm trying to talk to this person & say NO there is more - it really makes you wonder what they might have to do with the situation.

Now I'm upset because not only is Steve somewhere he shouldn't be, but my friend is not supporting me! In the end... yes, I should have NEVER said anything to this friend. She doesn't have the 'true' spirit of God in her & is seeing things through the eyes of the world (sin). Oh - forgot to mention... I scratched this person off the friend list as well!

~*AWESOME*~

Church was so Awesome today! I watched people be healed, saved & touched by God. I believe that God gave me SO much revelation today. He has great things in store for my life & I just have to get over some humps to get to them.

I received this email today... God is already working!
"Sis. Carolyn received the results today from her biopsies and medical tests. She does not have cancer! Please join Sis. Carolyn in thanking and praising God for His healing touch. Thank God for the good report that she received."

This lady sits in my group of friends. She is battling 3 different things in her body. She has a cyst the size of a grapefruit on her ovary. We were concerned it was cancer. Our prayers were answered & God performed a miracle!

The Phone Call...

I talked to Scott this afternoon for about 30 minutes. It was a good talk but many of you are right, he is going to hit rock bottom before he realizes what he did in life. He isn't working but about 1/2 the hours he was working before so he is hurting money wise. We talked about his cat dying. He was very upset (he should have kept him). We talked about Katie & he told me why he thought she was mad at him. I guess he doesn't TRULY get it!!! In the end, it was very civil bye & take care.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

I want to wish a Happy Birthday to someone very special in my life... Steve. We had a BBQ/Birthday Party for him on Saturday evening with lots of friends, food & fun. I will add the pic of his cake later.

I hope you have a Wonderful Day! May God richly bless you this year.

Being Positive...

I only worked at Go Figure! one day last week (Monday) because I worked the afternoons & all day Friday at the plant due to my neighbor's situation. When I went back to Go Figure! today, I realized just how much negativity I was being fed from there... sad but true! It amazes me how people think they are really happy, upbeat people but can grind on people & bring them down to a negative state. It was so good being at the plant AND feeling needed & most of all appreciated. It's important that you be told thank you & I appreciate you!!! If you own a business or ever do, be sure to tell your employees THANK YOU! It's important to them. My boss at the music company tells me thank you every week when he hands me my paycheck. The first time he did it, I was actually taken aback because I had been fed so much negativity.

Saying Goodbye...

As you may recall, I wound up with every single animal that we had in the divorce (except the wild cats outside that have pretty much vanished). Before I moved, Bart (which is the cat Scott raised from a tiny baby & that lived in his truck when he drove a big truck) had started going down hill & was craving Scott's attention... but he was too busy doing things that didn't concern his family.

Bart (AKA Lil' Buddy) passed away early this AM. He had really lost alot of weight & gone way down. It was very hard to even pet him anymore because he was so boney. I still remember some of the crazy times we had with him in the truck. He used to sleep in the sun on the dash for hours & enjoy the ride. When he would get tired, he would go back to the sleeper & put himself to bed. At times, he could be a pretty good alarm clock too. He would start trying to get Scott up when all the other trucks would leave out of the truck stop. It was his way of saying, we gotta go!

GooD DaY but No A/C...

I worked at Swiftex (the plant) all day on Friday. I almost forgot how warm it could get in there but it was still good to be there & great to see the few workers left. There were only 4 of us each day b/c one is on vacation, my neighbor was with her husband at the hospital & the owner didn't come any of the days I was there.

I got a little help in the afternoon. Thomas, one of my friend's 12 year old son, came to the plant & helped me for a few hours. He is such a joy to be around & a true blessing for help. We moved furniture (he helped the guy there), filled the coke machine (Thomas LOVED that!) & hung out in the office.

Later my whole family went to eat Mexican food @ Jalisco's in Cedar Creek. Great Place!!! We always enjoy it there. We had to take Thomas home & run by Steve's work. Almost as soon as we leave the restaurant, the a/c starts blowing hot air in the van. The a/c compressor is out!... so no cold air. =( Did I mention it's hot?! Now I have to get a new compressor (about $200 or at least $150) AND pay the shop to replace it (need to call to get a price on that).

Surprise Friday Phone Call...

My mom received a very interesting call today. Scott called to talk to her. He said that work had slowed way down for them, which means less hours. He said that Lufkin is sending him to North Dakota for 3 months to work there. He was going to come by & see my mom that day but had to go to his Grandpa's to do a bunch of fence work & ran out of time. He also mentioned that he had been thinking about my mom for a while & wanted to call but hadn't had a chance.

He told her that he had been going to church at the Methodist Church in Bastrop, but after being Pentecostal for 15 years... it just wasn't the same. My mom told him that once you know about it, you can't go back. The real shocker is that he asked about me & wanted to know how I was doing.

Good Ol' Dad...

We didn't have church Thursday evening, because they were working on the sanctuary & putting all the pews back in after replacing the tile & carpet in the church we are renting (it looks nice now). I guess Steve & my dad got to talking about my a/c not blowing very cold air so they went to Walmart & bought freon to charge it. It was great! Thanks to my dad for buying me freon.

To the Shop...

I had a guy look at the van on Monday that does car repairs on the side. We were all thinking - alternator, not a MAJOR job... WRONG! He said no b/c he didn't have time & really didn't want to get that involved in the car. It was going to be one evening to take it apart & another to get the alternator off & new one on, then another to put it back together. I called another side mechanic & the first thing out of his mouth after asking what kind of car it was... Oh, the BEAST!

I knew then that I better get it to a good shop & it wasn't going to be the dealer for $400 for just labor. I called Bastrop Auto Works, who is known around town for being pretty good, Katie went to school with their younger son (who was full of manners) & they go to my mom's church. SO I figured good people - go for it! I called the guy & he said he would do it... COOL, now just go get it & drive it with no a/c again.

I put it in the shop Monday evening & knew it might be a couple of days but that is life. I was right. I got it back this evening... but hey, I could listen to the radio & run the a/c that wasn't blowing very cold.