Friday AM...

I spoke some strong words to him last night. I had the chance to "minister" to him over the phone around 7:00. I told him that he needs to think about what he is doing (I'm sure he thinks that I'm just talking about the divorce but I'm not!). I told him that it's sad what he's doing & he knows it's wrong! He needs to think about it before it goes any further or it continues. One of his responses was that he can't stand it b/c I think I'm holier than everyone else. I told him no - I'm just like him... forgiven. The promise is unto everyone & he can be forgiven too. He was soaking some of it up like a sponge but really was hard for him to listen to most of it. He kept saying that he is fine & I'm the only one that thinks or says he's not. I said that's b/c the rest of the world doesn't know what you are doing. He said me & God are just fine - I said no your not b/c there is NO you & God at this time (he was speachless!).

He was not eager to talk to me when he came home & really didn't want me to say anything else. He even slammed his bedroom door in my face when I was trying to talk to him at one time. I told him that he's not just affecting himself - he is affecting other lives & needs to think about his child b/c it's not right! I kept getting something from God for him & texted it to him this AM. It was - he can run but he can't hide from God. God knows the truth! Just like my pastor preached Wednesday night, they can build their mountain high but it will crumble & they will be found out. And believe me - it's coming!

I just want to say ~ if anything happens to me... you need to look at him! I'm not scared at all b/c I have Jesus by my side & am pleading the blood nonstop. This is proof that he would be a prime suspect. My pastor told me again this AM that I'm living in a very volatile situation & he hopes for my sake that I will be ok. He says he's praying & praying for my safety & I should think about getting out. You ask why would I not get out? Well - #1... it's my house too! Yes I don't want to live with/in this heavy sin but God is preparing the way for me. I have told 2-people (one being my pastor) that I went to talk to a friend yesterday named Lisa Jackson. She is praying too & will be sharing my info w/one of her prayer counselers (probably a pastor) but not my name.

I do have to tell you that the situation has escaladed & I am unable to tell anyone what is going on... not even my mom ;-( ~ partially in fear but mostly from direction from God. If he finds out that I know what is going on and he is not in a state of repentance or at a breaking point, it could be a dangerous situation for me. Please pray that God would move him to repentance & remove situations from his life. Again, I'm not scared ~ God has shown me peace & I know He is working out a situation for me to move on in life.